These days I just don't know what to think of life.. So many aspects have been so wonderful. being with someone who seems to care so much about me. I think of you constantly, I couldn't even explain how much you have opened my world to something so new, so beautiful.
a perfect face. a perfect beauty. so ultimately perfect for me.
Then there are the other sides of things, the darkness of my past.. things left unresided and lies being told, to revive a friendship that was lost. I can't say I don't miss you. I miss you all terribly. but how can I come to terms with something so horrid, with reasons unknown. I've learned to forget. maybe someday I will forget you. I can only hope this side of my life is centered, somehow, someway, one day... it will be over.
Last night I stayed at Jessica's. The girl with the voice of an angel. I have never seen a more beautiful side of her in my life. I've known her for years but never had I seen a more beautiful girl than I saw last night, mind opened and enlightened, by the world around her. spiritually lifted. open to herself and her surroundings. The most wonderful being. Hidden amongst this terrible world and actions of other peoples doings. I would cry if I ever lost you, I would die If I lost anyone again, but would I? I've been handling this so well, is it him that gives me this strength I’ve found, or was it me, all on my own? I question myself and my abilities. I am a wonderful person and it doesn't even matter how other people see me. I am me. I am not one the lost. I am not one of the broken. . I have seemed to have found myself, and I am grateful for the caring, loving and adoring person I am. I am never vain. but I can't help but feel vain, life is so perfect. everything is perfect. I couldn’t ask for more.